I will not fight with you tonight-
I am not the reason you are in pain-
Your words hit deep within my heart
Old hurts, old pain,
Fights that never really end
Just pushed down inside
You give in, I give up
Standing looking over
The battle ground of our life together-
Feeling the hateful words like
Bullets hitting my heart, one by one
Around and around, we go
Circling like warriors of old,
Without ways to stop fighting
You walk out –
I start screaming at the closed door
Knowing I could never say the words
To your face
Words we could never say
I start to pack,
Then I stop, looking over the room
As memories start to overwhelm me
I fall to the floor
Tears falling like rain –
I stop, and unpack
I can’t just walk out
Without trying one more time
You can’t help it –
Your mind is always stuck on rewind –
Times like this with never change
No matter how much I love you
Understanding
I have to keep telling myself
Somethings will never change
They say it comes with age,
They say so does wisdom,
I will have to disagree
With age comes pain, regret, disappointment
We can’t go back to the way it was
With failing bodies
And memories, those are good and bad
You started yelling again
Raging against time
I won’t be the one who walks out
I pick myself up off the floor
I sit down on the edge of the bed
And quietly tears start to fall
Copyright August 2026 by Kim Snyder
The thoughts behind this poem. If you are a caregiver of a loved one, you know that there will be days that you just want to throw in the towel and just walk out. I am now the caregiver of my husband of 40+ years and yes, there are days I just want to yell back at him, but I can’t get upset about things he can’t change. So I leave the room, I go outside, I go somewhere I can be at peace and remind myself, he can’t change what he is most upset about. And it hurts, it can really hurt, so if you need to talk to someone about it, that would be the best thing to do. Your mental health is just as important and dealing with a love one who’s body is causing them so much pain.
